What was I thinking??

I am in the part time Masters program at the University of Chicago. I always wanted to get a degree from the U of C and I was elated when I was accepted and began classes. I finished all of my courses within three years and went back and forth about what form my thesis should take. At my entrance interview, the dean suggested an artistic special project, but I thought, hell no. Although my undergrad was in art, specifically drawing and photography, I did not want to ever that again. I was content to make an occasional piece of jewelry and shoot vacation photos with my digital camera. No way I was delving back into that world, the tortured artist existence that kept me up nights, praying I would finish my assignments on time.

But then, almost a year ago, something happened to change my mind. I went to the Winter quarter thesis presentations and ran into Linda, a classmate, who had been in several of my classes and who struck me as an amazing person. Her thesis topic was "Not the Person I Was: Memoir as Tool of Recovery and Discovery." I was, in short, bowled over by her effort and the product of her long hours. Knowing her background and that she published a book about her upbringing in a dysfunctional family made me even more proud of her ability to open up and use this program as a stepping stone to reach out to other people. Although she is not aware of it, her special project sparked the idea for my project.

I started to write my thesis proposal, initially thinking that I would write about outsider artists and their journeys. Then it became apparent to me, finally, that writing what had already been debated by critics and historians was not what I needed to do. I needed to paint, to create, to understand. I wanted to capture that rawness, the purity of truth, what I felt that I was missing in my own art. I needed to take the plunge and create again.

My original proposal, with the my rules governing my creative process was accepted and I settled in to begin my journey.